A.I. Lovecraft, Part 3.

Hello readers, and welcome back to the special capitalist hell that is me writing blog posts for search engines to read so I can sell guitar strings. There has to be a way to get the attention of real human beings on their computers without having to first appease questionable artificial intelligence designed by questionable people, but I'm not coming up with any answers. I should consider bypassing the internet entirely and get the attention of the public directly by renting a billboard or streaking. Since those are expensive and embarrassing, respectively, it'll be more freaky A.I. generated images this week - otherworldly stuff of horrors for sure.

"A normal billboard," according to A.I.

Good God, it looks like Jim Carrey got in a head-on collision with Hunter S. Thompson. I'm not sure what the intended use of the A.I. image generator is, but there can't be a reasonable expectation that this take the place of an actual photograph or original artwork, right? I swear looking at this stuff is like drilling for oil at the bottom of the uncanny valley.

"Music Theory."

We're working on some summer programs for high-school aged at Central Ohio Music. Exact dates and times haven't been established yet, but will be available soon. We will be offering a music theory class, with a special focus on developing the knowledge to read and improvise parts from chord charts. This will be especially useful for students interested in playing in high-school jazz band or pursuing college-level music education. We will also, based on interest, be offering performing groups for teens - one for jazz and one for rock. These groups will be audition based, but reasonably easy for young musicians to participate in. Information will be posted on the website and on Facebook as we get the schedule and pricing together.

I take some responsibility here. I thought it might be nice for A.I. to do generate an image of an airplane dropping guitars to exaggerate how many guitars we have in the store. A.I. decided that was obviously a silly thing to make an image of (the guitars come on a truck, after-all).

Artificial Intelligence apparently does not handle figurative imagery well. Let's stick to the literal, in hopes that we do not further confuse the computers of emotionally scar ourselves.

Artificial Intelligence, show me a "truck filled with guitars."

This is exactly how they arrive at the store.

I usually don't make it this far into one of these blogs without creating an endless barrage of keywords. I apologize for that. Korg, Guild, Cordoba, Spector, La Bella, D'Addario, D'Andrea, GHS, Dunlop, MXR, Way Huge, Earthquaker Devices, Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitar, Bass, Guitar, Digital Piano, Clavinova, Sheet Music, Guitar Pedals, Guitar Strings, Bass Strings, Banjo Strings, Mandolin Strings, Ukulele Strings, Classical Guitar, Piano Lessons, Guitar Lessons, Ukulele Lessons, Mandolin Lessons, Voice Lessons.

This is in violation of copyright for sure. I'm going put it up, but if I ever get invited to the Oscars, I risk incurring the wrath of Will Smith.

There's an A.I. assistant on my website builder that asks "would you like to get more people to your website?" I sure would, A.I., what should I do to get them there? "Have A.I. write a blog post to get more people to your site" it always responds. I always wonder about the environmental impact of all this data-for-data's-sake: it actually takes energy and space for all this crap to exist, and I don't think it's ethical to use up resources for what essentially amounts to glorified junk-mail. The attention economy is bad enough, but having to bolster a digital presence where no people are even involved is completely insane. More keywords coming shortly:

It's not crazy. Probably. Okay, well it's crazy, it's just not my fault that it's crazy.

No, no, no.

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There's got to be a point of diminishing returns with just writing "guitar" over and over. I hope I'm not wasting my time, because at this point, I'm certainly wasting yours.

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We offer piano lessons. NORMAL piano lessons.

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